It’s a speical day to say thank you to everything beautiful in your life.

While you connect with those around you over the next week, take the time to recognize and appreciate the beauty that surrounds you.

November 20th is our day to celebrate beauty. Yes, we get to celebrate this on a national level.

I recommend you take the time to call all the ladies in your life and let them know they are beautiful and you appreciate them.

Catch a moment to see beauty all around you. Come out of your head and into your heart. Come out and experience what you need to see, get connected with nature and express joy within what is beautiful to you.

Just enjoy the day because you are beautiful.

Barbara Hilkey

Women in Transition Coach

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Feeling Powerless? Learn How to Re-de-fine Your Personal Power

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Re-de-fining Personal Power

A women’s perspective

As women we re-de-fine our personal power each day of our lives. Our responsibilities to our families, work and to ourselves can make us feel overwhelmed when we take the accumulative responsibilities as a whole. For some of us, we try to move through our daily lives at the speed of light thinking if we go fast enough there will be a small window of time at the end of the day for just me. However, at this fast pace some personal needs get left behind. I believe that we long to enjoy the full expression of our natural inner feminine beauty, joy and self-esteem, but at the rate we move to take care of others we don’t give ourselves even a minute to feel our inner beauty let alone embrace and live it.

Do you feel alone and disconnected? You are not the only one because the things we long for the most as a women in our lives is authentic intimacy, purpose, joy, connection, creativity, self-expression, aliveness, meaning and contribution. Working towards a future full of hope and life, built on unlimited possibilities.

With social norms pointing us in the direction of putting our own needs on the back burner we create a daily struggle trying to balance our feminine and masculine powers. More times than not my clients seem to be having an all out war between the feminine side and working from our masculine power side. We somehow believe that we need to get things done working within a system of control, analysis and logical linear thinking. While leaving our feminine side of intuition, communication, alignment, and our sense of soft intelligence stay in the back ground.

If you are living and working at the speed of light while leaving your personal self behind you will start feeling the effects of burnout. Burnout is not only physical and emotionally painful, but a place where your spirit will be crushed. You are not meant to live with a crushed spirit, but to truly express your unique purpose for your life and share your gifts that are meant to create a world where you feel fully empowered. You can make the right choices daily by using the right balance between the feminine and masculine energy in your life and work.  By re-defining your boundaries and tolerations you will re-de-fine your personal power for your life.

Yours in joy,

Barbara Hilkey

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Birthday’s Come and Go, However…

Birthday’s come and go, however…

Yes, I celebrated another birthday. But this year was different. I guess I was trying to share a little bit more wisdom to the four people who gathered around me to help me celebrate than they wanted and it backfired. I was too ethereal in the way I was viewing my whole existence and it didn’t go over very well. Everyone wanted the time spent over dinner to be more joyful with laughter and good food. In fact one of the ladies there thought that birthday’s should be all about them and all the gifts they should receive. You know, queen for the day attitude.

I will admit that some years where more celebratory than others. Why not? I have been know to party a time or two.

Instead I gave them my view on why celebrating birthdays was important to me. I will express here what I said and you can decide for yourself what is important to you when you celebrate your birthday.

“Our day of birth is the day when our journey here on earth begins. These are the gifts we give ourselves; wisdom, joy, knowledge, laughter, and love. It’s not all about physical gifts but of the spirit. But when someone gives me a gift then I am truly thankful because someone thought highly enough of me to help celebrate my life – a gift in itself”.

Cape diem!

Barbara

 

 

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Are You Just Day Dreaming or Seeking Your Dream?

We have all spent quality time as children day dreaming. We envision ourselves as hero’s of our own story. But somewhere between childhood and adulthood we put just the act of day dreaming on hold, (let along seeking that dream we hold dear in our hearts).

Like you, I started out envisioning myself in all sorts of roles as an adult. Time after time landing on the same several possibilities of what the future could hold. But how does one get from where they are to where they want to be?

Without the right influences in our lives, teachers, coachesVision Road Sign with dramatic blue sky and clouds. or mentors we can become detoured very easily. Then self-doubt comes along and becomes your partner. Always getting in the last word as you try to format your vision and steps towards fulfilling a dream.

I would like to encourage you that if you have any doubt, toss the doubter out. You have everything you need to fulfill that dream inside of you.

Any vision worth pursuing will have risks. You will be called forth to leave what is comfortable into the unknown. But there are always unknown risks to everything you do. Seeking your vision and dream is no different.

Now go out there and reach for and live your vision, your dream.

 

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Can Anyone Relate When We Know Someone is not Speaking the Truth?

Not Speaking the Truth by being overly polite.

The other day I was asking an opinion on a possible cover for my new workbook I was working on. The person of course said, “Oh, yes that’s nice”.  So what does nice mean? They do like it, they don’t like it, it doesn’t mean anything to them? Or, perhaps I’m asking the wrong person and they felt trapped so they just said the “it’s nice” phrase.

I know they were not speaking the truth. The truth was that they really didn’t care and did not want to make a decision that would effect me. They truly were not interested in stating an opinion on some thing that should not even concern them.

OK, I get it. I was wanting quick gratification of confirmation that I did a great job. I really didn’t think this through. The next time when I need clear clean criticism on a project, selecting the right person will make all the difference in the world on quality assurance. And, I will not be putting someone who really does not need to affirm my work in a position where they use the old stand by, “Oh yes, that’s nice”, to be polite without having to tell me the truth.

 

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Re-de-fing Personal Power – A Women’s Perspective

The way I see it, we all will define our own personal power everyday by whether our voice will be or not be heard. As situations come and go and during our interactions with people we decide even if we where to be heard would our voice even make a difference.

I have witnessed people giving up their personal needs for the betterment of the majority which could be reflected as a decision consciously made. But if we keep quite and not voice our own opinion while the majority makes decisions for us, is that considered giving up our personal power for others, or does that mean you are deliberately not speaking up from a place of personal empowerment?  Or does this silence come from a place of fear?

How do you define the decision to voice or not to voice your opinion on a decision. I would like to know what you think.

Barbara Hilkey

Women’s Empowerment Coach

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Revision of Plans – again!

Revision of Plans -again (sigh)!

It never fails, we plan, and plan, and prepare to accomplish our goal and right in the middle BAM! you get hit with something hard that stops you in your tracks.

Do we revise the plan, toss it out and start over, call it quits, blame someone else for it’s demise? Or, did you have a plan B just in case something happened to plan A?

From my personal experience, it seems that no matter how much you plan, you must always be prepared for bumps in the road. These bumps are not necessarily there to stop you from reaching your goals. They are meant to create character in you along the way. To test your resilience as well as other team members. To see if you are willing to go the distance.

MC900078824No goal that accomplishes anything significant didn’t have to be revised multiple times before the vision of the goal became a reality.

So the question would be, knowing that the path to accomplishing your goals will come with bumps and bruises, would it still be worth achieving? Would the end results have as much impact on you if your goal was easily obtained? Not a single bump, not a single revision?

Are you willing to build your own character and those of your team by first creating a powerful vision for that goal so no matter what tries to thwart you, revision of your plan would be a built in probability for achievement?

Even the best laid plans can be challenged.  Use the challenge to your benefit. Be prepared because bumps causes gaps that will attract criticism. Remember, the outcome of the vision or goal is what you are seeking. Plans on arriving to your destination can always be revised.

Here’s to good planning and great revisions.

Barbara Hilkey

 

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A Solid Way to be a Successful Female High Earner

I just finished (for the 4th time) Barbara Stanny’s book “Secrets Of Six-Figure Women. It is absolutely amazing. There are more and more women today earning over $100,000 to $7 million. These women come from all areas from corporate executive, artists, white-collar professional and part-times.

Barbara Stanny really devotes a lot of information on the difference between high earners and under earners. One of the overlaying ideas is that we need to take control of our assets. This includes our talents, finances, the people around us, our spiritual side, education, etc. Another key element is true appreciation and being happy. Both inside perspectives. The women she interviewed all said that they earned the money not for the money, it was about what money brought them. Freedom, well-being, and largesse. It allow them the ability to afford healthcare, travel, and to help others.

It’s not only important to work at something, but also being genuine in feeling intrinsically joyful doing it.

It is important to note that high earners always set intentions. A declaration of what you want. However, you must also figure out what is hold you back to dissolve the blocks that are in your way.

IF you are needing a place to start, I recommend Barbara Stanny’s book. She leads you through a series of establishing a course of action from the inside out. Where you can step up to create the life you want out of the work you do in this world.

If you have any questions or comments, please send them my way. Working through objects and leaning innovative ways that are as individual as you to reach higher and achieve your dreams starts here.

In courage and love,

Barbara

Women’s Leadership: Success from the Inside Out

www.barbarahilkey.com

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Give Yourself a Gift

The gift that keeps on giving.

What, give myself a gift. I can’t do that. I’m suppose to give to others. I’m not worthy of giving myself something. That would put me up there as being selfish, even borderline ‘thinking of myself before others’ rule we seem to live by.

But, what I’m talking about here is actually investing in yourself, showing the world that you are worth the investment. You need to make sure you are taken care of so that you can help others.

If you plan on upgrading your computer, car, and any other gadget, why not make the kind of investment in yourself that will not depreciate or get lost? Why not add abundance into your life by first believing that you deserve to have and be abundant.

Once you have decided that you are worth investing in to create a life you truly want, start by looking at your core values and are they aligned with your life today. If not, we can sit down and adjust your path to achieve the outcomes you truly want to live.

Investing in a coach adds value by looking at the whole picture of what you will gain. Taking a leap of faith in knowing that you are worth giving yourself a gift by investing in your own self-worth through adding happiness, well-being, clarity, and success into your life.

To your success!

Barbara

 

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Are You Actually Enjoying Life or Are You Thinking About Work?

 

OK, it’s July 5th, 2013 and the year is in full swing. In fact, it is a perfect time for you to go out and play, swing on a swing, put your toes in the sand and laugh.

As women, we don’t do enough playing. For some of us, we try to derive our pleasures from our work since we have limited possibilities to draw from it in other places. For others of us, our responsibilities to others have taken over every waking hour.

Take the time and empower yourself to actually go out side. Smell the air, walk barefoot, sing and dream.

From even the latest studies we know that being outdoors, singing and day dreaming are the three most powerful ways to get your brain to be more effective in it’s cognitive processes. By redirecting your attention the brain will allow thoughts to move from the improbable to the possible.  When this happens you open up the possibility of finding the answers to what you were seeking earlier. It also disrupts depression or anxiety that can lead to burnout.

So, now, go outside and play. Open yourself up to exploring new places (like the new little boutique you keep meaning to stop at), singing and experience nature, whether it is your own backyard or down the path to somewhere you have never explored. Come Monday when sitting back at your desk you will be thankful you did. I guarantee your thinking will now be filled with possibilities.

Yes, the year is in full swing and you should be too, but don’t forget to play along the way.

From one soul sister to another,

Barbara H.

 

 

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