The Power of You, Mike Robbin Hay House World Summit

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

True Empowerment in Your Daily Life

I was listening to Mike Robbin talk on the Power of You today on the Hay House World Summit interviews. He talked about trusting your intuition, the power of appreciation and proactively expressing gratitude when there necessarily was not a reason to do so. What I liked was that he presented a great argument on the cause and effect of our actions in just saying a simple thank you, acknowledging the action of someone, or giving words of encouragement.

Just from my own experience expressing gratitued truly makes my inner spirit sing as well as up lifting the other person. We can also think of this as a daily practice. If you would like to make this even more meaningful to you and others, let it be a free flowing way of how you approach your interactions throughout the day, week, month, year.

I think of it as an unprovoked expression of kindness and love towards someone whom you are interacting with. These expressions of gratitude is what powers your inner feelings of appreciation for the people and situations in your life.

If you get a chance, I recommend looking up Mike Robbin and his teaching on being your genuine, authentic and loving self.

Barbara Hilkey                                                                                                     Empowering Women

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Bucking the Self-esteem Blame Game

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

OK, this might sound like I’m trying to buck the system, but aren’t you tired of hearing over and over again that your low self-esteem comes from your parents at a very early age?

Well, I would like to tell you that my parents were wonderful. They were the wind under my wings. They supported me with love and affection and the normal correction of behavior that all kids and young adults go through.

I was born prone to ear infections just like other children. However with a one in a million accident involving my eyes things got a little hard trying to read and write during the first several years of school. In fact, I was required to repeat the third grade.

Yet, my parents were supported, loving and giving me open options to grow. The problem with my inability to be “perfect” in spelling, singing or pronouncing certain words came from classmates. Even worse I was bullied as I entered into the adult arena of the work force and the men I dated.

Yes, our foundation as very young children is extremely important to how we view and handle our adult lives. But from my own experience, your lack of self-esteem can come from other areas enforced in your life other than your parents.

So, I want to give praise to all those parents who were loving, caring and supportive to their children. Just know that you did the best you could and that is worth saying thank you for. Now, it’s time for us to take over the responsibility as adults ourselves and do the best we can, including improving our own self-esteem.

In joy, Barbara

 

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Take Control of Your Own Life

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

 

OK, another week has gone by and maybe I’m just tuned into it, but, it seems that the catch phrase of last two weeks was, “Take control of your own life.”  Well, easier said than done.

We all would like to believe that we have a good firm grip on our daily choices knowing that some of the decisions that we live by are made by others. Home, work, family, place of worship all carry social norms. We live by them in order to get along, relate to others with less conflict, and let’s face it, this does allow us to live in a less conflicted world.

Taking full control of our lives can sometimes mean letting go of the need to control every situation and every outcome you are in. This can be difficult for those who feel they need to control not only their lives, but other’s too.

On the other hand, if taking responsibility for my life is about my own dreams, well, no one can have control over them but me.

 

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Effects of Low Self-Esteem

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

 

The 3 Biggest Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

Yes, we have all heard that low self-esteem can affect us sometime in our lives. But, did you know the majority of the depressed state we can find ourselves in can be caused by a drain on our mental energy, dealing with mis-aligned expectations, and the wrong food we eat?

According to a study published in the Arizona Hypnotherapy Clinic web page, there is more than meets the eye. Often women hold themselves back from from living a truly amazing life. When we live based on our interpretation of how we feel others want us to live become mis-aligned within ourselves you can feel depressed, anxious, trapped, or fearful.

If you have gone to a doctor and they have prescribed medication for anxiety or anti-depresants you might not realize that low self-esteem  could be part of the problem. Low self-esteem symptoms in women can act and feel like a medical condition.

All the things we do in our daily lives can be exhausting. Trying to deal with overwhelm and a sense of energy depletion can take a toll on us. You can easily note if you are having symptoms of low self-esteem by recognizing any of the following:

Depression: If you are noticing that your amount of mental energy is drained.

Anxiety: Fear of doing anything that could cause you embarrassment or feelings of anxiety,  or being overwhelm so you procrastinate. If you notice that you start to avoid interaction with people to avoid any possibility of making a mistake or embarrassment.

Unreasonable Expectation of yourself or others: If you notice that your temperament changes due to you or someone else not meeting your expectations it is time to see just what are you expecting and is it reasonable.

There are many more symptoms of low self-esteem but it’s important to recognize that seeking help is not a sign of weakness or failure. Finding solutions is a proactive and smart move on your part.

I recommend that you seek advice from your personal doctor, naturopath, hypnotherapist, or a coach to help you through and build a strong foundation. Yes, you do have a vibrant self-esteem waiting for you claim it and live the brilliant life you were meant to.

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I wish I had someone to talk to

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

I truly wish I had someone to talk to. Just to speak my truth about anything, To know that the person I’m conversing with would hold the space in integrity. Someone who you could talk openly with. To express ideas, dreams, comments, rebuttals, all and any emotions that need to be expressed. Perhaps on an occasion to simply be able to ramble about nothing at all. But most important, they would respect our time and privacy, and appreciate me just as much as I would them. Friendship and love. No judgment. Laugh as much as possible.

As my good friend Piglet once said, “It’s so much more friendly with two.”

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Viva la Life Coaches and Mentors

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

Over the last several months we have been bombarded from all types of media and guru’s trying to tell us that they know how to help us find our life’s purpose. BUT, what if I already know what the purpose or meaning to my life is?

Do I stop and question my own hearts desire and the fulfillment that I derive from my daily activities and just be satisfied? Or, do I start to take on their belief that they must know more than me about myself? You can get yourself into an emotional frenzy when you let that little voice of doubt creep in.

Yet I can’t help but think experts in areas of life where we can sometimes get stuck can help with a little push to get us back on track.  In today’s ever evolving world having an expert to talk to is a great thing to have. Viva la life coaches and mentors.

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Beauty is More Than Once a Year

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

Tan Hua Sunflower This rare flower blooms at night often only once a year. For us as humans, we get the chance to bloom everyday wherever we are. Make sure you take the steps in confidence that you are beautiful and needed in this world.

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Posted on March 4, 2013 by Barbara Hilkey

Hot Topic -Goal Setting Revival

Well, here it is, March already and have you even started in on the list of things you were wanting to accomplish in 2013? Or perhaps the more important question is, “Did you even make a list?”

If you want to make GREAT things happen, you must first DECIDE what you want to achieve.

You start out with great intentions, but they seem to get lost along the way. Perhaps basic fear, over-thinking, and clutter has taken over in the forward motion you will need to take to accomplish what you truly desire.

Don’t let your goals fade with each passing month. Start by claiming your right to these goals, and their outcome. Make sure that the goal belongs to you. Not what you should be doing.

Write it down, draw on your imagination to see, feel and perceive the outcome. Because daily activities can sometimes take over, place your goal in plain sight. With a little bit of planning you can develop quantifiable steps for yourself. As you break down your goals into steps, place them on your calendar as an active activity you participate in regularly.

By participating in your own goals, you get to also eliminate obstacles by confronting them as they arise. This gives you more freedom to remove or address anything that comes up on a more manageable level, this includes the ones you form in your subconscious. By analyzing your progress or lack of you can get to more core issues that will need to be addressed.

It’s only March, you have plenty of time to accomplish what you set out to do for 2013. Just commit, keep a positive outlook, and stay focus.

 

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Isolation is not an Effective Leadership Skill

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Barbara Hilkey

Isolation is not an Effective Leadership Skill

I was going over a list of leadership dimensions the other day and noticed that they all centered on qualities we work at to bring out the best in others. Things like communicating effectively, building trust, developing others, thinking strategically. But if we are required to manage others effectively, then why are we not also given the same consideration in being developed or mentored as better leaders?

One reason is that the person to whom we report to sometimes assumes that our management skills are already ‘good enough’ to do our jobs.  On the contrary, we sometimes lack self participation in the exact same things we teach. To our own detriment we are so busy with others we put ourselves on hold in keeping ourselves developed and sharp, because we tell ourselves that we are ‘just good enough’.

We often talk about trust and maximizing relationships to our staff or groups, but do we really feel it or participate in it ourselves?  One unsolicited facet of women in managerial or leadership roles is the lack of female peers to whom we can relate to, confide in, and who understands the day in and day out of our busy lives.

Everyone needs someone to bounce ideas off of or can relate laughable moments with. I have seen many women feel crushed under their workload, became depressed, or loose their selves just by the sheer isolation factor alone. All women will feel this at one time or another during their careers. Just remember that there are illuminating solutions for you.

If you are feeling isolated for any reason go out and enlist a coach, join a mastermind group or seek out like minded people who are doing something you like to do, for example golfing, art classes, or a foodie group.  Make time for yourself and family. There are many more ways you can grow personally and professionally, stretch your self-confidence and demonstrate courage in yourself and others while managing any feeling of isolation. Just remember, as you teach the leadership dimensions to your staff or others in your life, don’t forget to be demonstrating and developing the same in yourself.

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Why Are Women Getting Sick at an Alarming Rate?

Posted on July 27, 2012 by Barbara Hilkey

Why are women getting sick at an alarming rate?

Why are more women today in high risk health categories along side their counter male parts. The answer is in direct relation to the overwhelming statistics on women and their health and wellness issues.

Pick up any magazine, go to any medical association related web page, medical research institution, or cancer center site and you can read for yourself the alarming statistics on illness related to stress. The overload of stress, anxiety and fear which women are trying to deal with in their everyday lives is causing our bodies to physically breakdown.

The interesting thing is that we really do not need to be consumed with these high levels in our daily lives. But, with that being said, our lives are run on everyday patterns which include stress hormones, over amp-ted sympathetic nervous systems, over stimulated environments and multi-tasking. Some good some bad. But the good news is that if you surround yourself with the support from family, friends or peers, or a life coach women can manage their lives to where stress becomes manageable again.

Finding a clear path in your daily routine sometimes is not easy. What I mean by a clear path is a day that is manageable both emotionally and physically. If this seems to be difficult right now, my advice to you is to make sure you add always a simple joy or pleasure to your daily routine. Inspire someone, even with a smile. There is something about smiling that can lift even the heaviest of hearts.

When you are ready to improve your health and manage stress even more start by making a list of goals on where you would like to make changes. They can be from eating habits, to learning how to say no, to increasing physical activities. Then make a list of fun things you want to add into your life, for example; volunteering, baths, massages, Zumba, cooking, gardening, etc.

There are some great resources and health products on the market today. Just be very selective in finding the right starting point or product for you.  Make your choices simple at first like taking a multi-vitamin or going for a walk during your lunch hour. Simple easy steps gives you the ability to move more healthy lifestyle changes in and moving more of the stress related items out of your life.

Do not become one of the alarming health statistics. Changing to a more fun and healthy lifestyle reduces stress and anxiety no matter where you are during your daily routine.

Barbara H.

 

 

 

 

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